It wasn't just friendship though was it?
by nurseduffin
Summary: Set in Series 13. When Duffy returns to work at Holby, something changes between her and Charlie. Is there more to it than just friendship? It seems so...it isn't AU as such, as it follows the timeline of the episodes perfectly...it could be seen as the blanks have been filled in...and the puzzle comes to light? Thanks to L for her help writing this! Read on...
1. It wasn't just friendship - Chapter 1

Chapter 1

It has been a long and strenuous shift, and the thought of then having to spend time at Chloe and Tina's house party rather than lying down on his couch with a glass of whiskey, didn't really give him much enthusiasm to go. So had already decided not to. Until she walked in his office that is.

Duffy stood in his office trying to persuade him to join her at Chloe and Tina's house party.

"Come on, let off some steam." She said.

It was the look in her eyes that he couldn't figure out. And when she touched his chest. He didn't know how to react. It caught him by surprise. So he gave in. And went to the party with her. Well, for her. That's the same thing surely?

Seeing everyone enjoying themselves, well, some a lot more than others, as he had noticed quite a few were snogging each others faces off. It made him feel even more older than he already was. And the music, why was it so loud?

"Where's the bourbon?" He asked her, as Duffy followed on behind him, trying to cheer him up.

"Oh, come on Charlie, it's not that bad." Duffy said, as she stood next to him as he poured himself a whiskey.

"I'm too old for this." He said, as he rolled his eyes as the couple next to them: kissing, and dancing together.

"Oh, where's your sense of fun gone?" Duffy said, as she frowned at him.

"It passed me by about six hours ago." Charlie sighed, as he sipped at his whiskey.

"Oh Charlie, cheer up will you. Come on, let's have a dance huh?" Duffy suggested, as she grasped his arm.

"Ask me that after a few more of these." He said, as he downed the whiskey quickly.

"Charlie?" Duffy frowned at him.

He just poured himself another whiskey, looking a little forlorn.

"Are you ok?" Duffy asked, as she tilted her head at him.

"Yeah, course, um, never better." He said, as he drank his whiskey hurriedly once more.

When he looked at her, he swallowed hard, and didn't know how to react around her anymore. He froze. She had only just returned to work today, and being this close to her, since his wedding, only made him more nervous. The last time they were in such close proximity she had nearly kissed him. He didn't know what to do. So he drank more, to try and blot out those thoughts.

"Um, ok. I'm pleased you're getting in the party mood finally." Duffy said, as she poured herself another glass of wine from the table.

"Cheers." She said, as she held up her glass to him.

"Yeah, yeah, cheers Duffy." He said, as he clinked his glass with hers.

-x-

The music had suddenly become much louder, due to the change in track, and Sonny's mixing skills.

"Fancy that dance then?" Duffy said, as she came up behind him, and asked, as he stood with Josh.

"Sorry?" Charlie asked, as he couldn't make out what she'd said.

She leant in closer to his ear, and spoke a little more loudly.

"You promised me a dance." Duffy asked again, her breath on his neck, which immediately a shiver down his spine.

"Oh, um, right, yeah." He replied a little flustered as it registered in his mind.

He looked a little nervously at her, then smirked slightly, trying to compose himself.

Josh just rose his eyebrows at Charlie's reaction.

The music reduced in volume, and thankfully they could at least hear each other now.

"Be right back Josh. She wants a dance. Ha." Charlie said, as he rolled his eyes slightly, and pointed at her and let out a laugh.

Josh just shook his head, and smirked at him.

Charlie swallowed a little, as Josh's reaction, then looked at Duffy.

"Hey, you promised you would." Duffy said, as she tapped him on the arm.

"Yeah, ha. I did." Charlie said, as he passed his whiskey glass to Josh.

"Oh, charming. The waiter now am I?" Josh said, as he looked down at the whiskey glasses in both his hands.

"Sorry, won't be long Josh." Charlie said, as Duffy dragged him away by the arm.

Duffy walked backwards, as she never let go of Charlie's arm, as she giggled at him. He just shook his head at her, and frowned, clearly embarrassed.

The music then suddenly stopped, and the crowd of people stopped in their tracks and all said in unison.

"Awww come on, Sonny."

Duffy looked disappointed, Charlie sighed slightly relieved, but secretly disappointed too.

"Got it, here it goes folks...Simply Red...Holding Back The Years." Sonny said loudly, as the track began to play.

"Oh finally." Duffy said, as she looked at Charlie.

She held her hands out for him, and he looked at her, smiled softly, and took her hand, and brought her closer towards him, into his arms.

"Just the one dance?" He asked her, as he looked down at her.

"Yeah, course. It's either you or Josh, and Josh is much taller than me." Duffy said, as she looked up at him, gently swaying to the music.

"Josh?" Charlie scoffed.

"Yeah, why?" Duffy asked, as she frowned at him.

"No, nothing, just didn't think he was your type." Charlie smirked at her.

"Charlie?" Duffy said, as she tapped him on the chest.

"What?" Charlie said, looking scorned.

"Never mind." Duffy said, as she continued to sway to the music.

It then began to feel a little bit more comfortable between them, a little dig now and then always cheered her up. But, the main reason he did it was to break the tension between them. It distracted him from holding her in his arms. The feel of her body pressed against his. His thoughts were not what a newly married man should be having, and certainly not for one of his oldest and best friends. But, he couldn't help it. He took in a breath and also the scent of her perfume, as they continued to sway to the music. He swallowed hard, his heart began to race slightly, his palms were getting sweaty. If he just continued to dance, and it'll all be over soon, and she'll never know. He swallowed again, who was he kidding, this was impossible. He didn't know if he could keep this up much longer.

Then, the song ended, she stepped out of his embrace, looked up at him, but kept hold of his hand.

"Um, thanks Charlie." She said, as she swallowed hard, and looked deep into his eyes, then looked away.

"Um, yeah, no problem Duffy." He replied, as he let go of her hands, he nervously replied.

They seemed flustered, at each other, and unsure of themselves.

"Right, my turn mate. Here, you hold these." Josh said, as he gave Charlie the whiskey glasses.

"Oh, um." Charlie replied, as he watched Josh take Duffy's hand.

"Um, yeah, why not Josh." Duffy said, as she laughed nervously, and took his hand.

But, she then looked over at Charlie, her eyes told him all he needed to see. She felt it too, the dangerous attraction they'd shared between them, being that close to each other. She then turned towards Josh, as he took the lead and danced with her to a much more up tempo beat.

Charlie swallowed hard, as he watched her dance with Josh, a few twirls here and there. She kept looking over at Charlie, and he knew, this was dangerous game they were beginning to play.

-x-

A few of the guests were beginning to leave, and he kept glancing over at Duffy chatting with Amy. He sighed, he knew this was going to be a bad idea. What he hadn't planned on was these feelings resurfacing in him. He looked over at her again, as he collected his jacket from the chair nearest to him. Josh walked over towards him, and turned to see who he was looking at, he shook his head, he might of guessed.

"Charlie, what was all that about earlier?" Josh asked, as he put his hands into his pockets.

"Um, earlier?" Charlie said, as he took his hat out of his pocket, putting it on.

"The dance with Duffy?" Josh asked as he frowned at him.

"Oh? Um, she just asked me for a dance, that's all." Charlie said, as he shrugged slightly at him.

"Pfft, that's not what I meant. Did you not realise what you were doing?" Josh asked, as he then folded his arms at him.

"I, um, don't know what you mean." Charlie said, as he looked at Josh.

"Come on Charlie. The way you were dancing with her." Josh explained.

"Um." Charlie replied, and swallowed at him.

"I'm just glad I stepped in when I did." Josh added, as he shook his head.

"What why?" Charlie replied, frowning on confusion.

"Everyone saw you." Josh said, as he shook his head.

"Do what exactly?" Charlie asked, getting a little frustrated.

"You both danced so close to each other, and you both closed your eyes for a while too. It was obvious. You need to be careful. Stuff like that will get around you know. I mean I know you're mates, but, mates don't dance with each other like that." Josh explained.

"Um, I did, we did. Um." Charlie stuttered, as he then saw her out the corner of his eye.

She then turned to look at him too, and then looked away. Charlie sighed, then turned back to look at Josh.

"You have Baz Charlie, you won't do anything stupid now will you?" Josh asked, as he tried to catch his attention.

"No, don't be ridiculous Josh." Charlie said, as he frowned at him in response.

"Good. Anyway, I'm off. Catch you later. And remember what I said." Josh said, as he pointed his finger at him.

"Yeah, um, I will. Night Josh." Charlie replied, as he then watched Josh leave through the sitting room door.

Charlie then turned and looked back at Duffy, he sighed once again.

Don't do anything stupid Charlie.

He took in a deep breath and walked over a little unsteadily to Duffy, the alcohol clearly taking full effect.

"Duffy, um, sorry, it's just, I'm heading off and I wondered if you had booked a taxi home yet? Or if you needed someone to walk you home..." Charlie said, as he looked at her, interrupting her conversation with Amy.

"Oh, um, right. Ok. Wait a minute then, you can walk me home actually. I'll never get a taxi this late. Sorry Amy, but, Charlie knows I'm not a fan of the dark." Duffy said, as she looked at Charlie, then to Amy, and turned and put her glass of wine down on the table nearest to her.

"Oh, no, that's ok, taxis are hard to get at this time. I'm not a fan of the dark either." Amy replied, agreeing with her, and smiling politely at Duffy, and then at Charlie.

"Night then, thanks for the chat Amy. It's been lovely to get to know you a bit more. Tell Chloe and Tina thanks for the invite, when you find them that is, ha." Duffy said, as she put her hand on her arm, in thanks.

"Same here Duffy. And I will do. Night. Night Charlie." Amy said in replied, smiling at them both.

Duffy looked over at Charlie, and smiled at him in thanks, a little unsure of herself, but, also felt reassured because Charlie was right, she did need him to walk her home. The darkness frightened her, and he was only doing it because he knew the reason why it did. Not for any other reason.

"Um, my coat is just, um, this way I think. Two minutes. Ah there it is." She said, as she walked from the sitting room, into the hallway and saw it hanging on the banister of the stairs.

She began to put it on, a little unsteadily, and he helped her with the last bit.

"Um, thanks." She said, as she looked up at him, and smiled softly.

Charlie just smiled politely back at her, and then walked over to the door and unlocked it. She smiled at him nervously, and a little bit unsteady on her feet, but then walked out of the door. He closely followed after her, closing the door behind her.

He followed her down the garden path, and pulled his coat collar up, to keep him a bit warmer.

She then turned to him, and sighed slightly, looking a little apprehensive.

He simply smiled back at her, and held out his arm for her, she smiled, and she linked her arm through his, sighing with relief.

It was only a ten minute walk to Duffy's house from where they were. And their conversation was light at first, they spoke about her day, how thankful he was she suggested the distraction technique to then be able to give that patient his tetanus injection.

"Right time, right place". She'd replied with a shrug.

"Yeah, teamwork too." Charlie added.

"Oh, we've always been a good team Charlie." Duffy mentioned.

"Always have been." He replied, and smiled at her.

They continued to walk, and she had to ask.

"How's things with Baz?"

"Oh, good, good. She's settled in well at the hospital. Louis is doing great." He replied, slightly stumbling, the alcohol kicking in fully due to the coldness of the night air.

"Oh that's great news. I thought you'd be seeing them this weekend?" Duffy asked.

"Can't she's working this weekend. And her Dad has Louis." Charlie replied, a little sombrely.

"Oh, right, I see." Duffy replied.

"But things are ok between you, yeah?" Duffy asked, prying for more information.

"Yeah, yeah course. She's got a great job up there." He replied.

"But?" She asked, as she turned to look at him.

"Oh, it's nothing really." Charlie explained.

"It must be so hard on you Charlie. Being so far away from them." Duffy asked, looking concerned for him.

"Yeah, yeah it is. But no use in complaining is there." Charlie said, as he shrugged his shoulders.

"No, but, you should if you're not happy about it all." Duffy mentioned.

"Yeah, well, it's no use, really. It's fine. We get by. It just makes it worth while when I do see them. You know?" Charlie said, as they continued to walk down the street.

"Yeah, I know what you mean." Duffy replied, as she looked a little sad.

"How's things with Andrew?" Charlie asked, changing the subject.

"Yeah, um, fine, fine." Duffy said.

"You don't sound so sure about that Duffy." He asked, as he stopped suddenly and turned to look at her.

"It is, just like I said, fine." Duffy replied, as she withdrew her arm from his, and began to walk down the path.

"Duffy?" Charlie said, as he called after her.

"Look Charlie, don't ok, just don't." Duffy said, as she put up her hand defensively at him.

"Duffy, if you need to talk, I'm here to talk." Charlie said, as he tried to catch up with her.

"What's the point." Duffy said, as she turned to look at him.

Charlie then he ran a little a head of her, and took her by the shoulders, to stop her in her tracks, as he called her name.

"Duffy, you can talk to me."

Duffy just looked away from him.

"I don't want talk about it, God, I don't even want to go home, not yet, not now, God, I just." Duffy said, as tears began to form in her eyes.

"Why don't we go to mine, yeah, talk about it all properly. Hmm?" Charlie said, as he tried to get her attention, and bend his head to her level, trying to catch her eyes.

"Um, ok, alright." Duffy said, as she sniffed back her tears.

He then held out his arm for her again, and walked in the direction of Charlie's house. Incidentally, it was a lot closer to them, than Duffy's house was.

-x-


	2. It wasn't just friendship - Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Drink? I think I have a bottle of wine somewhere. Just go on through. I'll not be long." Charlie said, as he closed the door behind him, and pointed in the general direction of the living room for her.

"Um, yeah, wine sounds lovely." Duffy said, as she turned to look at him, and smiled softly at him, then walked down the hallway into the living room.

Charlie then walked down the hallway and into the kitchen, as he stood and pressed his hands onto the counter and let out a large sigh, as he bowed his head, then shook his head to himself.

What am I doing?

Duffy meanwhile had looked around the living room, it had changed a little from what she'd remembered, a new sofa, new wallpaper. There were photos of Charlie and Baz on their wedding day on the mantelpiece. And of Louis, at various stages. She sighed, as she shook her head to herself.

What am I doing here?

Charlie had managed to find a bottle of wine, and opened the bottle, grabbed a glass, and sighed once again.

We're just talking, nothing more than that. Don't be stupid Charlie.

He then took the bottle and glass into the living room, knowing full well his whiskey was where he'd left it the night before, on the table next to sofa in the living room.

"One glass of wine coming up." He said, as he entered the living room.

He saw her sat on the sofa, looking down at her hands in front of her. She looked up at him, smiled softly at him, but tears filled her eyes.

"What's wrong?" He said, as he looked at her, getting worried.

"Nothing." Duffy said, as she took a deep breath in, and gave him a false smile.

"Duffy?" Charlie said, as he began to pour her a glass of wine, then handed it to her.

"Come on, tell me." He added, as he walked over to sit next to her.

"It's nothing honestly. I'm probably being silly." Duffy said, as she sipped at the wine in her hand, then put it on the coffee table in front of her.

"Then share it, and I'll let you know if you are or not." Charlie said, as he looked at her thoughtfully.

She sighed, before she began to speak.

"I think Andrew is still cheating on me. I don't know how, I can't prove it. I just know he is." Duffy said, as she put her hand to her head, tears forming in her eyes once more.

"Oh, Duffy, come here." Charlie said, as he took her in his arms and hugged her close to him.

The tears the began to fall freely, as she was finally able to let her emotions run away with her, as she sobbed against his shoulder.

"It's alright, shhh, it's ok, it's ok." He said, as he hugged her close to him.

A few moments passed before she could calm herself, when she did, she pulled back and looked at him. He saw the tears running down her face, and he couldn't help it, he reached up and rubbed them from her cheek with the back of his hand. When he touched her she didn't know how to react, she just looked into his eyes, and froze. He froze too, unable to comprehend how she felt. Then their demeanour changed. She looked into his eyes, then at his lips, and then reached over and kissed him. As soon as she'd realised what she'd done, she pulled back nervously. And looked into his eyes, trying to figure out if she'd made a mistake, or not. He looked back at her, surprised, his eyes focused on hers, then down at her lips, as he then moved towards her and kissed her back. The kiss became more passionate, his hands went to her shoulders, as he pulled her closer to him. She reached up and caressed the back of his neck, deepening their kiss further. Moments passed, as their kiss continued, one hand in her hair, as he who lowered his other hand, to her waist, then up to caress her breast. She ran her fingers over his shoulders, then to his chest, their kiss continued further. She then brought up her other hand and frantically began to unbutton his shirt. He didn't stop her, just kissed her with more desire, then he began his goal to unbutton her shirt. Fingers quickly undid buttons, as they managed to pull open each others shirts. His hand immediately went to her breast, as their kissing continued, unable to stop themselves. He then tried to pull off her shirt, as she tried to do so, he too tried to take off his shirt, but they had to release each other from their kiss to do so. As they pulled a part, the tempo of their desire for each other suddenly stopped, as they tried to pull off their shirts, failing to do so. She looked at him, he looked at her, and realisation suddenly hit them.

"Charlie? I, I, I'm sorry, I can't do this." She said, as she looked at him with horror, she looked down at herself, and closed her shirt over her breasts.

"Duffy? Um, yeah, um, you're right." Charlie said, as he too looked at her with just as much fear as she did.

"I'm sorry, um, I should um." Charlie said, as he got up from the sofa, pulling his shirt to himself also.

"Um, look, I shouldn't have." He began to say, as he put his hand to his neck.

"No, no, it was my fault, I shouldn't have kissed you." Duffy said, as she began to blush.

"Um, well, um." Charlie said, as he was a bit lost for words himself.

"Do you um, want me to um." Charlie tried to say, but got stuck on the words.

"Yeah, call me a taxi, thanks. Um. Look, I didn't come here for this..." Duffy said, as she started to button up her blouse, getting flustered.

"No, no, I know, I know. I'm sorry, it's my fault." Charlie said, as he too started to button his shirt.

"It's just me getting overly emotional at you, I shouldn't have done that Charlie. You've got Baz, you're happy." Duffy said, as she couldn't now look at him.

"No, um, it's ok, um, it's ok. It's my fault too. I shouldn't have kissed you back. You have Andrew and the boys to think about. Duffy, I didn't bring you here for that either. Oh, God, Duffy. I don't wanna be that bloke either. I'm sorry." He said, as he tried to catch her eye, but she couldn't bring herself to look at him.

"No? No, you're right. Stupid, stupid Lisa. I shouldn't have come here." Duffy said, as she rose from the sofa, and walked towards the door and hallway.

"Duffy, just wait, you can't leave like this. Stay, wait for your taxi. I don't want you to be out there on your own." He said, as he shouted to her.

She stopped in her tracks and turned to finally look at him.

"Charlie?" She said, and broke down once again, tears filled her eyes, and she didn't know what to do. Leave or face the fear of the darkened streets or anyone out there. Or, stay and sit with Charlie after almost sleeping with him, and accept the awkwardness of the situation. She sighed, as she looked at him.

"It's ok, please. Don't go." Charlie said, as he pleaded with her, his eyes full of fear and worry.

"Um, until my taxi comes. But, don't come near me, ok. Not one step." Duffy said, as she pointed at him.

"Ok, ok, deal. Just wait there, and I'll call you a taxi." Charlie said, as he gestured to the sofa.

"Ok, ok." Duffy said, as she walked over to the sofa and sat down.

Charlie put his hand to his forehead, and sighed, he then left the room to call her a taxi.

-o-

Once he'd called her a taxi he'd walked back into the living room, put his hand to his neck, stressed, as he told her.

"Um, they said it would be an hour before they'd get here."

"Great." Duffy replied, then sighed, and rolled her eyes at him.

"Look Duffy, I'm sorry." He began.

"Don't Charlie." She'd replied, as she looked away from him.

"Please don't act like that Duffy." He asked.

"Don't what?" She said, frowning as she looked up at him.

"We're both married Duffy." Charlie explained.

"Yeah, don't you think I'd don't know that?" She said, as she folded her arms.

"It shouldn't have happened." Charlie suggested.

"Yeah, it shouldn't." Duffy replied, then sighed.

"But it has now." She added.

"Yeah, it has." Charlie replied then sighed too, as he looked down at her, still stood in the living room.

"I don't want this to change anything between us Duffy." He explained.

"Oh really?" Duffy huffed at him.

"Duffy?" Charlie said, as he knew that had hit a nerve for her.

"Duffy you're my best friend." He began, as he took a step towards her.

She sighed.

"I know." Duffy looked down at her hands.

"It's just..." Charlie said, as he took another step towards her, his hand went to his neck once again.

"I don't want to lose you." Charlie explained.

She looked up at him when she heard that.

He caught her eye, and bent down and tried to put his hand om hers.

She withdrew her hands before he could touch her.

"Don't Charlie." Duffy said, as she looked away.

He sighed, and bowed his head in frustration, "you mean too much to me," he said, but couldn't look up at her.

She turned her head towards him as soon as she heard his words. She sighed, and put her hand out and touched his cheek. He raised his head to look at her, her hand still on him.

"You mean too much to me too." Duffy said, as she softly smiled at him.

He looked into her eyes and returned her smile. They looked at each other a little bit longer than just friends would. They then leaned in to kiss each other again...

Then the doorbell rang, he taxi had arrived, a lot earlier than they'd thought.

-o-

"Um, I should, um, go." Duffy began, as she looked at him.

He sighed, at her, as he replied, "Um, yeah."

He then rose from his crouched position, and she got up from the sofa.

He put his hand to his forehead.

"Look, can we just forget this ever happened?"

"Um, yeah, yeah, never happened." She said, as she placed her hand on his chest, then quickly withdrew it, smiling shyly at him.

"Good." He sighed, as he then stroked the back of his neck.

"Well, um, I better go." Duffy said, as she then took a few steps towards the living room door.

"Um, yeah." He watched her as she walked out of the living room.

She began to put on her coat, and picked up her bag from the floor.

Charlie stood in the doorway of the living room, as he watched her.

She then opened the front door.

"Night Duffy." He said, as he looked over at her.

"Night Charlie." She said, as she turned and smiled softly at him, before walking out of the door towards her waiting taxi.

Charlie just stood where he was, and sighed heavily as he heard the door shut behind her.

-x-


	3. It wasn't just friendship - Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The next time they were on shift together, a few days later, they avoided each other like the plague. Charlie was feeling it more so than Duffy. He was afraid he'd ruined their friendship, worse still that they couldn't be as close as they were before it all. He hated not being able to talk to her. But, he also knew, when she'd calmed down she'd talk to him again. Or if not, then it was over forever between them, as they were no longer capable of being friends.

"Duffy, um, can I...?" He asked her as she walked passed him through the cubicles.

"Sorry, I've got a patient who um..." Duffy replied, not able to look at him, as she carried on walking.

"Oh, um, ok. Later then?" Charlie asked, trying harder to give him an answer.

She didn't reply, just walked away from him.

The next time he saw her, he was walking up the stairs, as she was walking down them.

They stopped as they saw each other, she sighed first, as she looked at him, then tilted she tilted her head up looking away from him, and continued further down the steps.

"Duffy?" He called after, he sighed, and frowned.

She just continued to walk away from him.

A few hours later, when the department had quietened down, he finally managed to catch her attention, as she was chatting to Amy at the receptionist desk.

"Duffy, can I have a word?" Charlie said, as he frowned at her, and stood at the end of the desk nearest his office.

"Um, can it wait?" Duffy replied, as she looked at him, then gestured to her conversation with Amy.

"Not really. It's about the vacant staff nurse position." He explained.

"Oh, um, right, yes. Um. Ok. Sorry Amy, I'll not be long." Duffy said, as she blushed slightly, and kicked herself inside, as she had forgotten about the post, and she had discussed it with him on their last shift together.

Duffy then walked over to Charlie's office, he closed the door behind her, as he walked into the room, then sat down in his chair, making it more professional.

"Do you, um, want to um, sit maybe? We'll be here a while." He asked her, as he gestured towards the other chair in the room.

"Oh? Um, will we, right, oh. Ok." She replied, clearly getting even more embarrassed, he was making this about work.

"Before we go into it all the details of the position. Um, I just want to, um, clear the air a bit." Charlie said, as he looked at her timidly.

"Oh?" Duffy said, as she rose her eyebrow at him.

"I don't want anything to change between us Duffy. In here, in here I am your boss. Well, if you still want to apply for the job that is. But, out there, and when it is just us, I am your friend. I still want to be, um, that's if you still want us to be friends that is. I really don't want us to change." He said, as he looked at her, the worry in his voice, and also written on his face.

Duffy just sighed at him, then looked down at her hands.

"Charlie, um", she sighed again.

"Duffy please." Charlie pleaded.

"You're a great nurse, you know that too, you are more than qualified for the position. And I know you need this job, you told me remember. But, I need to know we are ok too. Can't you see that?" Charlie asked her, as he looked over at her.

She sighed, as she raised her head up and nodded at him.

"Good." He replied.

"Friends then?" He added.

She looked at him, shyly smiled at him, then nodded, "yeah, yeah, we're friends."

Charlie sighed with relief, "phew." He then smiled contently.

"Right, um, so the staff nurse position..." He began to explain the nature of the role, not that he needed to, she knew all too well what it entailed.

She just looked at him as he spoke, not that she was really paying any attention. She looked at his expressions, his eyes, his mouth, how she could still strangely taste the whiskey on her tongue every time she looked at him. She sighed, this is so hard. Being so close to him. But, he was right, it wasn't worth it, they were married, and they simply didn't want to risk it all over a silly kiss, or it leading to something they'd both hate themselves for afterwards. But, it was so hard, so very, very hard.

-x-

When she left his office, she'd written up her application, and signed the relevant forms. She'd thanked him, and they'd not spoken about anything personal between them after their initial chat. She sighed, smiled to herself, but then looked up to the ceiling and rolled her eyes at herself, as she headed in the direction of the staff room to put her forms away.

As she stood putting the paperwork into her bag in her locker, she told herself... get a grip Lisa. They'd made their peace, well, sort of. But, it still didn't help being that close to him. It made her want him more, and that thought scared her, terrified her even. So, she'd just have to maintain their status-quo, and simply ignore it. He was right, it would ruin them, or their marriages. It wasn't worth the risk.

He, however, sat at his desk his head in his heads, and shook his head at himself. Stop it Charlie, for God's sake. At least you haven't lost her for good. So stop thinking about her like that. But he couldn't help it, being in the same space as her made his heart race, and his palms sweat. Thankfully when he'd explained the nature of the job, it distracted him. He couldn't think any inappropriate thoughts, and discuss work at the same time. But, that was it, she had applied for the full-time position, and signed on the dotted line. He knew as soon as she'd put pen to paper it was pretty much a done deal she'd get the role. He was pleased, so was she. But, it didn't help that they would be working in the same place, he needed to clear the air between them, he owed her that much. And he certainly didn't want her to leave either, she belonged here as much as he did. And knowing that she would be able to have a stable job, and it would help her home life too. He was grateful she had accepted his apology, so they could at least move forward. He just hoped they didn't cross that line again, or it would ruin them for good, or totally destroy both their families in the process. He was so torn. He loved Baz and Louis, but, he was beginning to fall in love with Duffy all over again, and that thought terrified him. He didn't want to be that bloke who splits up two families. Not him, definitely not what he wanted at all. So, he would just have to ignore it all. Keep up the pretence. He just hoped he could do it. He had to.

After the first few shifts together they seemed to relax back into their normal friendly relationship. Teasing each other helped, and it broke the ice when things got too complicated for them.

"How was I to know she'd meant she'd left her dog at the shopping centre. I mean who calls their dog Gerald?" Charlie said, as he stood there shocked and slightly irritated, at the nurses station, as Duffy and Amy laughed at him.

"They've called for Gerald on the tannoy for the past two hours, not a word. And then a security guard found the dog tied to the entrance of the shopping arcade. His name tag said: Gerald Forsyth – 23 Tykes Lane, Holby. Owner: Mrs Dorothy Forsyth." Amy explained to Duffy, as she couldn't contain her laughter.

Duffy just shook her head and laughed at Charlie.

"You couldn't make it up could you. Ha, ha, ha, ha." Duffy laughed heartily.

Charlie just frowned at her, and shook his head, then began to chuckle himself.

"No, no, I guess not." He smiled at Duffy, as it had been the first time she'd seen her laugh in days, it made him smile too.

"Right, well, I better go and break the news to Mrs Forsyth then. Her Gerald had been found. His tail between his legs, so to speak, ha ha, too much maybe?" Charlie said, then laughed at his own joke.

"Just a little bit." Duffy said, then giggled as she realised what she'd referred to.

Charlie just smirked at her, and walked off.

"At least he saw the funny side. He wouldn't usually." Amy mentioned to Duffy, as she watched him walk away.

"Oh?" Duffy asked, as she slowly finished chuckling.

"He's usually quite stern about things like that. A waste of our time and resources, when they could just explain it properly in the first place." Amy explained, giving her an example of what he'd usually say in that instance.

"Yeah, yeah, that does sound like Charlie actually. But, he does have a wicked sense of humour too though. When he's in the right mood that is." Duffy mentioned.

"I wouldn't know, he only seems to be like that with you. But then you've known him longer." Amy pointed out.

"Oh? Oh, yeah, yeah, that's true. Must be that then." Duffy nervously replied, sensing that Amy had picked up on a difference between them.

"Well, best get back to work, or he'll be back shouting the odds, eh?" Duffy added, distracting Amy's conversation away from how close they were.

"Oh, yeah, yeah." Amy said, as she winked at her, then walked back to the reception area.

Duffy stood and looked down the corridor and noticed Charlie coming out of the cubicle. He'd shaken his head in frustration, as soon as he'd shut the curtains to Mrs Forsyth's cubicle. Was there a point to what Amy had said? Was he different with her than the rest of his staff? He couldn't have changed that much? Or could he? She hadn't worked with him in years, but she knew him, the real him, a lot more than anyone else here. Even Josh. So, she was wondering if Amy was right. So, she decided to find out what she could about him. Maybe it was something else entirely, but she was curious all the same.

-x-

She'd noticed he'd spoken quite harshly to Eve, George, and Sam, all in the space of half the shift. She couldn't understand his attitude, he didn't need to be so off with them. He'd even had a go at Sonny. She realised that what Amy had said may well be true. He was a bit too much sometimes. It just didn't seem like him. He seemed, well, uptight, and wound up. She sighed, probably my fault, she'd thought, and shook her head. Maybe if she were to ask Josh. See if he had noticed, or, if in fact he had just changed, and that was it.

"Are we going to stand around gossiping all day, or are we going to treat some patients?" Charlie said, as he walked into the nurse's station to see Chloe, Tina, and Sam chatting amongst themselves.

"Sorry Charlie." Chloe said.

"Um, sorry." Tina added.

"Yeah, Charlie, sorry." Sam said.

They all quickly dispersed and got on with what ever they were supposed to be doing.

He sighed as he sat down at the desk and took out his pen to fill in a form he was carrying in his files.

Duffy bent down slightly and said to him.

"Did you have to be so hard on them?"

"Well, we don't have time to stand around all day do we?" Charlie replied, as he wrote a few words on the paper in front of him.

"No, but, it is a tough job sometimes. Things get to them too. Not everyone is immune to it all you know. Chloe had just lost her patient, and they were just reassuring her." Duffy explained as she gave him a look, to tell him he was being too hard on them.

Charlie sighed, and looked up at her.

"Oh, um. Right. Well, um." Charlie didn't know what to say, it is almost like he wasn't used to it, or that she'd said what no one else would.

"Are you always like this?" She asked, as she could tell he was taken aback slightly by her comments.

"Well, who else is going to get them to work?" Charlie replied, a little bit abruptly.

"Charlie?" Duffy said, in amazement at his tone.

He then sighed, and put his hand to head, and looked up at her as he spoke.

"I'm the manager of this department Duffy, I don't have the time to let them laze about all day chatting. We're stretched as it is. No beds. Queues waiting in reception. And they just stand there gossiping." Charlie said, as he waved his pen around in emphasis.

"Well, that's put me in my place then hasn't it?" Duffy said, as she folded her arms at him and walked off.

"Duffy?" Charlie said, as he called after her, but just sighed and watched her walk down the corridor.

-o-

"The self righteous, self centred..." Duffy said, as she stormed into the staff room.

"Ah, you've had the wrath of Charlie too then?" Sam asked, as he stood getting some money from his locker, just for some change to give to a patient so they could have a cup of coffee.

"Ha, yeah. Is he always so, so..." Duffy said, as she turned to look at him.

"Bad tempered?" Sam interrupted.

"Um, yeah, always has been. You should know though? Right?" Sam asked her, as he closed his locker.

"Um, yeah, ha, right, yeah." She stood and frowned at him, deep in thought.

She knew it wasn't right, something was bothering Charlie, and it wasn't their friendship, it was deeper than that. Baz maybe? Or just work getting to him? Despite their escapades a few days ago, she thought things were getting back to normal between them. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe it was getting to him more than she thought. It must be. She sighed, if she asked him about it though, that could open up a whole can of worms between them. Maybe if she tried a different approach. See if she could just be there for him, maybe he had something on his mind and couldn't tell anyone but her about it? It's worth a try at least.

"You ok Duffy?" Sam asked, as he noticed she was quiet all of a sudden.

"Erm, yeah, yeah. I'll be fine." Duffy said, as she sighed, then walked back out of the room.

Sam just frowned at her, and shook his head. Charlie had that effect on everyone, so it didn't seem that odd to him to see her reaction.

-x-

She'd decided to leave him until the end of the shift, he was no use talking to when he was in a foul mood. And, the way he spoke to her, she was tempted that it would only lead to a further argument and that isn't what she wanted either. So, she took a deep breath, straightened down her tunic, and walked off towards reception for the next patient.

By the time she'd noticed the time, and the next staffing shift had arrived, she looked a little disheartened that he hadn't come to her first, to apologise for his behaviour, something he usually did. So, she sighed and walked towards the staff room, grabbed her bag to change, and headed to the changing rooms. Thankfully she was the only one in there. So she proceeded to change. By the time she'd finished putting on her blouse she stuffed her tunic in her bag, and zipped it up. She unlocked the cubicle, and left the room. When she opened the main door into the hallway, she looked up and saw him stood at the end of the corridor, waiting for her. He'd changed also, and looked up at her when he saw her.

She frowned at him, unsure how to react.

"Charlie?"

"Um, Duffy, look, can we talk?" He said, as he seemed lost and upset somehow.

"Um, yeah, if you don't have a go at me again." Duffy said, getting one over him, he deserved it anyway.

"Um, yeah, about that. I'm sorry. Just, the way everything is in the department at the moment. I just got a bit stressed. I'm sorry I snapped at you." He said, as he put his hand to his neck and rubbed it.

"Well, seen as though you've apologised, you can, but, no alcohol, ok. And, in the pub, somewhere busy. Right." Duffy said, as she gave him a knowing look.

"Yeah, yeah course." He replied, as he seemed sheepish.

"Ok, come on then. I'll just quickly put these in my locker." Duffy said, as she acknowledged her bag with her uniform in.

"Right, yeah, ok. I'll wait for you outside ok?" Charlie suggested.

"Ok." Duffy said, as she quickly walked passed him and into the staff room.

When they met again, she looked at him with worried eyes. Something was really upsetting him, and it didn't look good.

"Well?" She asked, as they walked down the corridor.

"Not here yeah." Charlie said, as he opened the doors for her as they walked down the corridor towards reception.

"Oh, ok." Duffy said, as she didn't think it was that serious.

"So, um, a part from my outburst earlier, um, good shift?" Charlie asked, trying to make small talk.

"Um, well, I suppose..." Duffy began to explain the ins and outs of the last twelve hours, on their walk over to the pub. He filled her in on why he'd been so stressed, at work at least, not the real reason.

By the time they made it to the pub, he'd ordered them both orange juice. They'd then found a corner of the pub, which was just quiet enough to talk, but in view of everyone, so not overly private. They say, and took their coats off, before he dropped the bombshell on her.

He sighed before he spoke.

"Baz wants me to move to Birmingham."

"What?" She replied, a little louder than she'd expected.

He sighed again.

"She says it's not working between us, she misses me too much, so does Louis." He'd added.

"Oh." She'd replied.

"And do you want to?" Duffy asked, swallowing hard.

"I miss them, course I do, but, my job is here, my life is here. I've never worked anywhere else. I told her I'd think about it." He'd explained.

"I see." Duffy replied, as she shook her head in amazement.

"Is it wrong of me not want to move Duffy?" He asked, turning to look at her.

"Well, um, I don't know I'm the best person to answer that right now. Not under the circumstances." Duffy replied honestly.

Charlie sighed at her response.

"I'm sorry, this isn't want you needed to hear is it? It's my problem, I'll deal with it." Charlie replied.

"That's not what I meant Charlie." Duffy explained.

"I know, I know", he sighed again.

"She'll hate me for staying here. But, I can't do it Duffy. Not now anyway", he sighed again.

"Charlie, this is your wife, and son, you have to do what's right for you all. I know, it's hard on you. But, if it means you'll be with them." Duffy suggested.

"I know, I know. She's mentioned they have band 6 nurse positions available. But, that means a huge cut in my salary. I earn much more than that here. It isn't worth it financially anyway. And, then there's the shift patterns. By the time we've both done our shifts we'll only see each other maybe one or twice a week anyway. It's not worth it. I see them more now, and earn more now. But, she doesn't see it like that." Charlie explained.

"So, what are you going to do about it then?" Duffy asked.

"I dunno, got any suggestions?" He asked, as he turned to look at her.

"Um." She looked at him, but couldn't help the feeling in her pit of her stomach at his words, and the look in his eyes.

"Well, I um." She added, getting a bit flustered.

"See, it's hopeless. I can't win either way," he sighed, and took a gulp of his orange juice.

"You could just, well, um, spoil her more, treat her more, do more things together when you go back to see her. Make out that if you do move back, you'll have less money, less time together. And, see if that works." Duffy suggested, as she took a sip of her orange juice.

"That's it, you know you're right. That could work." He said, pleased with her ideas, as they sunk in more for him, he began to smile.

"Thanks Duffy." He said, as he took another sip of his orange juice, and raised it to her for a toast.

"Cheers." He added, and smiled.

"No problem." She shyly smiled back at him.

They then spoke about the position she'd applied for, a few more details to do with what had happened with Chloe and her patient earlier. Duffy told him to go easy on everyone, it's not their fault the department is so busy. He agreed with her, and asked her to tell him when he gets too much in future. He also thanked her for telling him, because no one else had, or dared to, just her. She giggled at him at that, well, she did know him more than anyone else. He agreed, and they laughed. Things between them had returned to normal, she had managed to cheer him up, and was there for him when she knew he needed it. The kiss they'd shared earlier a mere shadow in their minds now. Well, sometimes. But, they'd settled their differences, and left an hour later, walking off in separate directions, with no awkwardness between them.

-x


	4. It wasn't just friendship - Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The next shift he'd arranged to leave earlier so he could be on the train by four, and there by six. So he'd thought about booking a restaurant for 7:30pm, nice meal, a bottle of wine, then a cosy night in, brownie points well earned. He'd decided on a Malaysian restaurant, a little bit different to their usual type, but, he was trying to spoil her. Wine and dine, as they say. But, it wasn't until Duffy, so expertly suggested, restaurants aren't sexy are they. You spend more time worrying about what everyone around you is doing, to concentrate on each other. Good point actually. And, he also agreed to her preference: "a bottle of wine and early night routine." He could swear she was flirting with him. Giving him ideas on how to seduce his wife? Seems like a good plan though, he wasn't going to disagree. And, something he must remember, well, for future reference, he knew how to seduce her now too. So, he left the department, and Duffy behind, as he travelled to Birmingham.

The journey had been a long one, he'd managed to read most of the book he'd been bought, "clinical management and strategies." Well, it wasn't exactly ground-breaking stuff, he knew most of it all anyway, but, he did find a few good suggestions.

When he arrived Baz greeted him warmly, but he couldn't help but feel the guilt from the kiss he shared with Duffy. He then tried to shake that thought from his mind, as if he'd thought about it too much, he knew Baz would figure out something was wrong. So, he took a deep breath in and got on with their evening.

-o-

It wasn't the argument that was bothering him, on his train journey home, it was the weekend itself. Baz, for now, agreed to let him stay in Holby, only if he were to see them every weekend. He agreed to that. He also agreed to do more things with them, rather than just relaxing when he got there. He realised it needed to be a joint effort on both sides. So, he asked her to make sure she was off every weekend with them. She agreed to that too.

He sighed though.

Something was still not right. He was beginning to think she knew about Duffy. Well, she knew she had returned to work at Holby. She wasn't surprised. But, he could see there was something about her attitude towards her that spoke volumes to him. The one thing Baz hadn't known previously, was how close Duffy and he had become. Maybe that was it, Baz knew that Duffy really was closer to him than she was, and she didn't like it one bit.

He sighed again, maybe he needed to at least tell Duffy how the weekend went. Strangely enough, he wanted to see her, well, to tell her the good news anyway. Yeah, that's all it was, wasn't it? Course it was. He'd tried to block out their encounter last week, but it was harder than he thought it would be. He still felt nervous around her, more so now that ever before. But, after being with Baz this weekend he thought his thoughts about Duffy would waver, they should he is married to Baz.

He sighed once more. That was it though, what was bothering him. No matter how much he tried to ignore it, he still wanted Duffy. Knowing that she wanted him too just made those feelings ten times worse. He will just have to suppress those feelings for her, there wasn't anything else he could do. They had agreed not to take it further, heck, they even took it to the point where they should never be alone around each other outside of work, and definitely not if alcohol was involved.

But, he needed to see her, he couldn't just go home and dwell on it all. She would only ask him at work, and he didn't want to take the risk of anyone over hearing he was planning on leaving. So, he had no other option that speaking to her.

He decided to call her first, it was easier than driving to hers only to find out she wasn't in, or busy. So he picked up the phone and dialled her number.

"Duffy. It's Charlie." He said.

"Charlie, oh, are you ok? How was Birmingham?" She replied.

"Good, yeah, quite good actually. Um, are you busy?" Charlie asked, slightly nervously.

"No, no, the boys are at school until three, and Andrew is on shift until eight. Why?" Duffy asked him, sensing something was wrong.

"Oh, right, um, ok. Can I come over? For a coffee?" Charlie asked, again unsure of himself, or her reaction.

"Um, yeah, if you want to, are you ok Charlie?" Duffy asked, frowning in confusion, as they were breaking one of the rules they'd agreed to. Being alone in the same space.

"Sorry, um, it's just, I'm not up for being out and about just yet. If you don't mind that is?" Charlie said, as he'd realised he was breaking one of their rules: never alone, and no alcohol.

Duffy, by this point panicked, she was covered in dust, soap suds, and the house was still a mess. She'd been doing her housework most of the morning, and she certainly didn't want Charlie to see all their clothes in various plies after she'd been ironing. So, half and hour she'd thought, that'll be enough time to tidy up a bit, oh, and get changed. She felt and looked, not her best.

"No, no, that's ok. Um, give me half an hour though yeah?" Duffy asked.

"Yeah, yeah, no problem. See you then." He replied.

"Yeah, see you later." Duffy replied, and put down the phone.

Was it too much, she thought: A skirt, and this blouse? Would he notice I'd made and effort? This weekend had, actually been worrying her, if Charlie left Holby, what was she going to do then? She couldn't imagine the department without him. She had only just gotten him back, no, she'd just gotten back, that's what she meant. Yeah, but, it wasn't that was it. She'd missed him so much, and seeing him marry Baz only cemented that fact how much she really had, and also those feelings she'd had for him had resurfaced too. Now she knew there was something to more to their friendship, it ran deeper than that. They had a connection, and it was so hard now they'd over stepped that mark. She knew it was wrong, but, she couldn't help the way she felt about him. Lipstick was too much, so she put it back on her dressing table, straightened her perfectly ironed skirt, and headed downstairs.

When she answered the door, he stood on her doorstep, she could see there was a mixture of confusion and uncertainty, written on his face.

Maybe the skirt was a bit much, she thought.

She led him into the kitchen. She handed him his coffee once she'd poured it, from the percolator. They then walked down into her sitting room, sat at opposite ends of the sofa, and began their conversation.

"So?", she asked, as she crossed her legs and looked at him.

"It went well", he replied, as he quickly glanced at her legs, thankfully she hadn't noticed. He then took a sip of his coffee, and placed it onto the table in front of them.

"But?", she replied, as she too then took a sip of her own coffee and placed it on the table.

"She's agreed with me, financially it makes no sense, and shift wise, but, has said she wants me to come home every weekend, if I can that is." Charlie explained, he swallowed hard, as he looked at her. He hair was down, and he noticed how it glistened as the light from the window shone behind her. Suddenly the room was getting warmer, or was it him?

"Oh, well that's good news isn't it?" Duffy replied, looking pleased for him.

"Yeah, yeah it is." Charlie agreed, as he shuffled around in his seat a little.

"But?" Duffy asked, noticing his discomfort.

"There's no but." He replied, as he looked up at her.

"Charlie?" Duffy asked, tilting her head at him.

"There isn't." He replied, as he shook his head at her.

"Then what's wrong?" She asked him, as she frowned at him again.

He quickly turned his head to look at her, and said, "nothing, honestly."

"Oh really?" Duffy asked, as she tilted her head at him again.

"Really, there's nothing else to say." Charlie replied, he clasped his hands in front of him.

"Then why come here then?" She asked him.

"Um, I just um." Charlie began to say, as he began to blush.

"Charlie?" She asked again, unsure she could read his expression.

Charlie sighed, and thought to himself: I need to tell her how I feel, but, how?

"Um, about what happened last week." He began, nervously.

"Charlie." Duffy's tone outlined how shocked she was, then she sighed at him, and gave him that look of disapproval.

He sighed once again, then looked up at the ceiling, and then down at his hands.

"We agreed." Duffy asked, now getting nervous herself, and began to blush.

"I know, I know." Charlie said, as he couldn't now look at her.

"Duffy, I've tried, tried so hard to forget about it, but I can't." He said, as he but his hand to his forehead.

"Charlie, we have to." Duffy explained.

"I know, I know." Charlie said, as he sighed once again.

She turned to look at him, and didn't know how to react.

"I know it's wrong Duffy, but why does it feel so right?" He said, as he glanced at her, trying to gauge her reaction.

"Charlie?" She almost whispered, and suddenly her heart began to race as she looked at him.

"Tell me I'm wrong then?" He asked, as he pleaded with her.

"I, I, um." Duffy said, as she stumbled on her words, becoming flustered.

"Duffy, it's tearing me apart." Charlie said, as he became agitated.

"I, um." Duffy replied, still shaking inside herself at his words.

Charlie just watched her reaction and knew that meant she didn't feel the same, he couldn't deal with it anymore, so got up from the sofa and walked towards the living room door.

"Charlie?" She called after him.

He just continued to walk out of the room into the hallway.

She sighed and got up from the sofa and followed him.

"Charlie, wait." Duffy said, as she hurriedly headed for the hallway.

He stopped as he heard her call for him. He turned around and saw her standing in the doorway of the living room, looking agitated. He frowned at her, unsure what this meant.

"Don't go." She said to him, under her breath, he was unsure he'd heard her at first.

"Please." She managed to vocalise.

He just looked at her, saw the worry and longing in her features, and within a few strides he took her into his arms and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around him and passionately kissed him back. He pushed her up against the door, his hand on her waist, as he deepened their kiss.

"Duffy?", he breathed, as he pulled back from her, realisation hitting him.

She didn't say a word, she just took him by the hand and led him upstairs, they were done with playing games, they both knew it now, they wanted each other too much.

-x-


	5. It wasn't just friendship - Chapter 5

Chapter 5

He looked into her eyes, and rested his forehead against hers, for a few moments they just tried to catch their breath, and then he rolled over and lay on his back, still breathing heavily.

He turned to look at her, and they just smiled at each other, and Duffy let out a small giggle.

"Well." He said.

"Well?" She asked, then giggled again.

"Impressive Mr Fairhead." She told him, as she then began to play with the little hairs on his chest.

"You're rather impressive too." He said, as he began to stroke her back.

"Duffy, I don't want you to think..." Charlie began to say.

"Shhh, tell me later." She said, as she kissed him again.

"Mmmm." He said, as he melted into her kiss.

-x-

They lay in bed, trying to figure out whether what they'd just done was it right, or wrong? Was it just that the want and desire for each other was too strong, and now they've satisfied their needs they'd go their separate ways? Or was it more than that? They've been best friends for years. Was it all now going to crash down on them?

"Duffy." Charlie said, as he turned to look into her eyes.

"Mmmm." Duffy murmured.

"Um..." He began.

"Don't worry, I'm on the pill." She read his mind.

"Oh, good. Phew," he sighed.

He then rolled onto his side and just looked at her, he smiled to himself, and stroked her hair behind her ear.

"What?" Duffy asked.

"Nothing", he replied, as he shook his head slightly, and smiled at her.

"Twice? Very, very impressive." She replied, smirking at him.

"Well, you have that effect on me." He answered, grinning at her.

"Oh really?" Duffy asked, smirking more at him.

"Mmm, you do", he replied, as he began to trace his fingers over her body.

She then looked up at him and put her hand to his cheek.

"I never knew."

"Well you do now." He said, as he bent down and kissed her lightly.

When he pulled back from her lips, he gazed down at her and smiled.

"Yeah, yeah, I do." Duffy replied, as she smiled up at him.

-o-

"Shit, what time is it?" Duffy said, as she quickly got up from the bed, as she had been lying on his chest, as they'd had just woken up from a little snooze.

"Just gone two." He said, as he looked at his watch on his wrist.

"Shit, my Mum will be here soon, to help me with the boys. Peter has swimming tonight and Jake is going to a party. Mum said she'd pick up Peter's swimming kit then go on to pick him up from school." Duffy said, as she frantically began to put on her clothes.

"I'm sorry Charlie, but, um, can you, um." She added, as she got some jeans from the drawer, and put them on.

"Oh, right, um, yeah, 'course." Charlie said, as he got out of bed and began to dress.

"Um, can we um..." Charlie began, but then she interrupted him.

"I'll call you, ok, I promise. I'm not back at work for a few days." Duffy explained.

"Right, um, ok." He replied, as he put on his shirt.

"This, what we, um." Charlie began to say.

"Charlie?" Duffy said, as she put on a new blouse also.

Duffy then sighed, and walked over to him, she took his hands in hers as she said.

"It felt right Charlie, for me too." She said, as she squeezed his hands.

"Good." He said, as he was about to kiss her, then the doorbell rang.

"Shit, it's my Mum!" Duffy exclaimed.

"Hurry up, please." Duffy added, as she panicked.

"Ok, ok." Charlie said, as he put on his shoes.

She ran down the stairs, and he followed on after her.

"Kitchen?" He asked, as he held his coat in his hands.

"Yeah, put the kettle on or something." Duffy suggested.

"Right." He answered.

Duffy then took a deep breath out, walked up to the door and opened it to see her Mum standing there, sheltered underneath her umbrella.

"Oh finally, I thought the doorbell wasn't working. Where have you been?" Kate asked, as she walked into the hallway, putting down her umbrella.

"Sorry, I was in the kitchen with Charlie. He's popped round for a chat."

"Oh, Charlie, I've not seen him in years. Oh, right, did you forget I was coming round?" Kate asked.

"No, no, just Charlie's just come back from Birmingham, we're just having a catch up." Duffy added, as she suddenly remembered the coffee cups were in the living room, so pointed her Mum in the direction of the kitchen instead.

"He's just down there Mum, he'll make you a cuppa coffee too, he's just put on the coffee machine." Duffy suggested.

"Oh, lovely. I'll need warming up, it's been raining all afternoon." Kate explained, as she put her brolly onto the floor and took off her wet coat.

"Ha, yeah. Won't be long Mum. Just going to get our cups from the living room." Duffy explained.

Duffy then walked hurriedly into the living room, picked up the coffee cups, quickly couldn't think of a way to dispose of the half full cups, then saw the plants on the window sill. She tipped the contents into both plants, and quickly walked out of the living room into the kitchen.

-o-

"Kate, lovely to see you." Charlie said, as he held out his hand for her.

"Don't be daft, come here Charlie," she brought him closer for a hug, she frowned at him slightly, then thought something was odd about him, then shrugged to herself as she couldn't quite make out what.

"I've just boiled the kettle, fancy a cuppa coffee?" He asked her, as he got out a cup from the cupboard.

"Lovely thanks. So, how's Birmingham?" She asked, as she walked round to the table and sat down.

Charlie put in an extra spoon of coffee into the coffee cafètiere and poured the hot boiling water over it, attaching the lid to it, leaving it to stew.

"Ah, here's our cups Charlie." Duffy said, as she'd brought them in from the living room.

"Oh, Birmingham is great thanks. How are you?" Charlie asked, as he turned to look at Kate.

"I'm well, thank you. How's the family, Baz and little Louis?" Kate asked, as she looked incredibly happy to see him.

"Good, good, great even. Thanks." Charlie replied, then looked up at Duffy.

"Oh, erm, didn't you say you had to be back for two-thirty Charlie?" Duffy asked him.

"Oh, yes, that's right, thanks Duffy, I totally forgot. Ha." Charlie replied, as he smiled at her.

Duffy smiled timidly at him, and then folded her arms.

"Sorry Kate, I've got to go. But, lovely seeing you again." Charlie explained, as he then walked over to Kate, and kissed her on the cheek.

"See you again sometime." Charlie said, then smiled at her.

"Oh, I do hope so Charlie. Take care of yourself, and that family of yours." Kate said, as she smiled at him happily.

"I will." Charlie said, then picked up his coat from around the chair, put it on.

"I'll see you out Charlie." Duffy said, as she looked at her Mum, then back at Charlie.

"Thanks. Bye Kate." Charlie said, as he waved at her.

"Bye Charlie." Kate said, as she smiled at him.

Duffy then followed Charlie down the hallway to the front door.

"I'll call you, I promise." She said, as she put her hand on his arm and smiled at him.

"Ok." Charlie replied, as he smiled at her nervously.

"See you later." Duffy said, as she opened the door, holding it, as he walked towards it.

"Yeah, see you then." Charlie said, and looked into her eyes, he was desperate to kiss her, but knew he couldn't.

Duffy could sense his intent from him, and all she could do was gave him a wistful smile in return.

"Bye." She said, and put her hand on his arm once again.

"Yeah, bye." He said, smiled at her one last time, and walked out of the door.

She closed it behind him, and sighed heavily to herself.

She then walked down the hallway back into the kitchen.

"I'm only going to say this once Lisa, but, make sure you check your buttons before you answer the door." Kate said, as she gave her a look of unamusement, and folded her arms.

"Excuse me?" Duffy said, a little taken aback by her Mum's comments.

"Your buttons Lisa." Kate gestured towards the blouse she wore.

"Oh, um." Duffy began to blush, and quickly buttoned up her last few top buttons.

"Oh, no wonder Charlie was so flustered, that's quite a distraction." Kate replied, frowning at her again.

"Mum." Duffy frowned back at her.

Kate just sighed at her, and shook her head.

"He's no doubt seen it all before in his profession, but, there's no need showing him all your assets now is there, he's a newly married man Lisa." Kate said, as she gave her a disapproving look.

"Mum, really don't be so..." Duffy began, but was interrupted.

"Poor Charlie." Kate replied, shaking her head at her.

"Mum." Duffy replied sternly.

"Those flimsy little buttons, I told you to get some decent clothes." Kate added.

"Mum, really." Duffy replied, as she then folded her arms at her defensively.

"Unless something else has been going on?" Kate asked her, frowning at her.

"Mum, don't be so..." Duffy said in surprise.

"Oh, don't play the innocent card with me Lisa. Just what were you two doing whilst I stood waiting out in the rain?" Kate asked her, now giving her a curious expression.

"Nothing we were just chatting in the kitchen." Duffy explained.

"And you couldn't hear the doorbell? Really Lisa, do you think I was born yesterday?" Kate said, as she folded her arms at her.

"Mum, come on, he's my best friend. There's nothing going on." Duffy pointed out, but stood with her arms folded.

"Good. I don't want a repeat of your father. He left us for that floozy remember." Kate added, as frowned at her.

"I know Mum, I know." Duffy sighed at her, and then walked over to the brewing coffee.

"So, Peter has his swimming lesson at 4pm, so, if I drop you off at the leisure centre first when we pick them up from school at 3pm. It gives us plenty of time to get Jake ready for his party, as he needs to be there by 4, and they only live round the corner. Peter won't mind, as they have a kick around in the hall usually beforehand. So I'll come and pick you up at 6:30pm. That ok?" Duffy suggested, as she plunged the lid of the cafètiere down slowly.

"Yes, that's fine with me." Kate said, as she began to unzip her coat.

"Right." Duffy said, as she continued to make them coffees.

-o-

As promised she called him later that night. She'd just collected Jake from his party, and found a few spare minutes whilst he played in the living room.

"You ok?" She asked him, as he answered the phone.

"Yeah, you?" He asked her, worrying maybe she was now regretting what had happened between them.

"Yeah. Um," she sighed heavily, "I don't know what to say Charlie".

"Um", he sighed too, "are you um, having any regrets or..."

"No, no. Are you?" She answered hurriedly, and wondered herself if he was.

"No, no, not at all. Um. I just, um", he explained, then sighed once again.

"Don't know what to do now", she answered for him.

"Yeah, something like that", he replied.

"I think Mum knows something." She explained.

"What?", he said in surprise.

"She could see we were flustered when she came in." She added, then sighed down the phone.

"Oh?" He said, and sighed himself.

"It doesn't change anything Charlie." She mentioned.

"Doesn't it?" He asked.

"No." She replied quickly, then sighed once more, as they were quiet for a moment.

"Are you alone, or are the boys there?" He asked her, thinking on his feet.

"I've got Jake, and Peter is swimming with my Mum." Duffy explained.

"Ok, um, when are you next free, tomorrow?" He asked her, desperately trying to figure out their next move.

"Um, yeah, Andrew is on shift, and the boys will be at school." Duffy answered.

"Um, do you want to come to mine, after you've dropped the boys at school?" He asked her, he needed to see her.

"Um, I could do, yeah." She replied.

"Ok, see you tomorrow then." Charlie said.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow." Duffy said, as butterflies rose up in her stomach at the thought.

"Um, Duffy..." Charlie began to say.

"Yeah?" She answered.

"It felt right for me too." He explained.

Duffy smiled to herself, at the other end of the line.

"Good. See you tomorrow." She said.

"Yeah, goodnight Duffy." He replied.

"Goodnight Charlie." She smiled, as she put down the phone on the cradle.

Charlie smiled at the other end of the line also, as he sighed, and put his phone on the cradle too.

-x-


	6. It wasn't just friendship - Chapter 6

Chapter 6

When he opened the door, she stood there looking up at him. The fire rose in him, his heart rate increased, and he swallowed hard. He was unsure how or if he could hold himself from kissing her or touching her, somehow he could almost taste her already. She bit her lip at him, and blushed, just seeing him again stirred up all those intense feelings, she wanted him, she wanted him even though she knew she shouldn't.

"Um, sorry, um, come in." He stepped back to let her into his hallway, as he began to blush.

She smiled timidly at him. He could smell her perfume, as she brushed passed him. He closed the door behind her, but she just stood inches away from him, her back against the wall.

She looked up at him, bit her lip once again and in one swift move, he took her in his arms and kissed her. Her hand went around his neck, and the other on his shoulder, as she deepened their kiss. He then stepped back, and pressed her against the wall, and kissed her with such urgency. The passion and desire for each other increased, and it was a few moments before they parted.

He was first to break their kiss, he opened his eyes and pressed his forehead against hers, his breathing laboured and heavy.

"Hello." He said, slightly nervously, as he looked down at her.

"Hello." She replied, as she bit her lip at him again.

"Um?", he smiled at her, his hands still on her waist, he was still pressed up against her, her back against the wall.

"Upstairs?" She suggested, seductively.

"Yeah." He answered, and stepped back, taking her hand in his.

He walked up the stairs holding her hand, leading her the way to his bedroom, their need for each other was much, much stronger than their conscience.

-o-

"God, Charlie." She said, as she kissed him passionately, and rolled herself over and onto her back in his bed.

"That was..." She breathed heavily.

"Yeah, it was." He replied, also breathless, as he turned to look at her and chuckled at her.

She giggled as she looked at him, still trying to catch her breath.

"You took me by surprise." She said, as she smirked at him.

He turned on his side, propped himself up on his elbow, and ran his fingers along her hip, up to her waist, and to her breasts, "sorry, couldn't resist".

"Oh really? Mmm". She let out a slight whimper as his fingers caressed her breast.

"No, me neither." She said, as she reached up and caressed his cheek, and bit her lip.

He smiled down at her and kissed her softly.

He pulled back from her and suggested, "coffee?".

"Yeah, lovely," she replied, and rolled over getting up from the bed.

She then bent down, picked up her knickers from the floor, and began to put them on. She then slipped on her skirt. But, couldn't find her bra. She scoured the room for it, and noticed it had landed on the bedside table. She walked over to pick it off something, when she lifted it up, it revealed a photo of Charlie, Baz and Louis. She froze where she was, realisation hit her, and her conscience screamed at her.

This was wrong, this was so wrong. Charlie is married to Baz, he has a family. What we are doing is so wrong. My boys, Andrew. I can't do this to them.

She can't be the one to break up her family either, be that "floozy" her Mum spoke about. Not be the one to split her boys from their father. Not like her father did to her.

She put on her bra, then bent down and picked up her blouse, and began to button it up.

"We can't keep doing this Charlie." She said, as she slipped on her shoes.

"What?" He replied in shock, as he stood looking at her, as he buttoned up his shirt.

"It's wrong Charlie, it's all wrong." She said, grabbing her coat from the floor where it had landed in their haste.

She then hurriedly walked through the bedroom door, and headed down the stairs.

"Duffy?" Charlie said in confusion, as he quickly walked around the bed, out the door and ran down the stairs after her.

"We can't do this Charlie, too many people will get hurt." She said, as she began to put her on her coat.

"Duffy, where's this come from? Come on, where are you going?" He said, as he tried to catch her arm, trying to stop her.

"You're married, I'm married. It's wrong Charlie, all of this is so wrong." She said, as tears filled her eyes.

"Duffy, please, don't do this." Charlie pleaded, as he took a step towards her.

"I don't want to be like my Dad Charlie, I can't do that to my boys." She began to cry.

"Duffy?" Charlie said, his brows furrowed in confusion, he took another step towards her and gently put his arms around her.

She then pressed her head against his shoulder and began to sob. He pressed his head to hers, and rubbed her back.

"Come on, come and sit down." He said, as he pulled back looking down at her.

"No, no, I should go." She began to say, as her tears fell.

"Come on", he said, as he put his arm around her, and led her into the sitting room.

She sat on the sofa, he sat next to her, his arm draped over her shoulder.

"I'm sorry Duffy, I'm so sorry, I never knew." He said, as he pressed his forehead against hers, as he hugged her to him.

"I'm sorry too. I know it's wrong Charlie. I've lived most of my life without my father, I don't want that for my boys as well. And I'd be the one taking you away from Louis, I can't do that to him too." She replied, as she fumbled with her fingers in front of her on her knee, the stress of the situation getting to her.

"I know, I know." Charlie said, as he sighed, and put his hand over hers.

"It has to stop Charlie. It must." Duffy sighed too, as she rubbed his hand, with hers.

He sighed heavily.

"I don't know if I can though Duffy." He said, as he released his hand from her grasp, and took his arm from around her shoulders.

"Charlie?" Duffy said, as she turned to look at him.

He sighed again, as he clasped his hands out in front of him, on his knee.

"We have to Charlie. We're both married. I have the boys to think about. Andrew is their father." Duffy replied, as she sighed at him.

"I know, I know." He replied, as he looked down at his hands, he couldn't look at her.

"I can't do that to them Charlie. Despite everything, they need him, I'd never forgive myself if I was to blame for it all. You have to understand that." She said as she turned to look at him.

"Um, yeah, yeah, I know." He replied, but looked up at the ceiling, in frustration.

"Charlie, you have Baz and Louis to think about too."

He sighed once more.

He then stood up, and began to look at the photos of Baz and Louis on the mantelpiece above the fireplace, looking away from her as he spoke.

"I know, it's just not that easy Duffy." He explained, as he then put his hand to his neck.

He then turned to look at her, and didn't know what to do. He was so torn. He loved Baz, and Louis. But, he loved Duffy too.

He sighed once again, as he looked down at her and said.

"I don't know if I can do it Duffy."

"Charlie?" She said, in shock, and confusion, as she looked up at him.

"I'm sorry." He hung his head in shame.

"I should go." Duffy said, unsure what he was about to say to her, so she rose from the sofa and walked towards the sitting room door.

"No, wait, don't." He pleaded with her once more, as he held his arm out in emphasis.

"I have to." She said, as she turned back to face him.

He sighed once more.

"You know I do." She added, as she stood looking at him.

He looked broken by her words, but knew deep down that what she said was true. She'd never be able to leave Andrew because of the boys. She'd grown up without a father herself, and therefore didn't want her boys to grow up without one too, despite all of Andrew's flaws.

Charlie just nodded at her, and smiled sombrely at her.

"This won't change anything between us Charlie, I promise." She explained, as she tilted her head at him.

She reached out her hand for him, in a few strides he took her hand in his, squeezing it, he smiled wistfully at her.

"I know." He said, as his smile faded slightly.

She then pulled his hand towards her, to signal to him to come to her. She then put her hand on his chest, as he looked down at her, she could feel his heart beating against her palm.

He looked into her eyes, and slowly bent his head to kiss her once again, but paused, inches from her, knowing she had previously stopped him. She just returned his gaze; lost herself momentarily, as she leaned up and kissed him.

His lips were so soft and their kiss was so tender, she regretfully pulled back from him, he then rested his forehead on hers, her hand still on his chest.

She sighed, and said, "I have to go".

Then she stood back away from him, releasing her hand from his chest.

He grabbed her hand quickly, as he said, "one day you'll be able to put yourself first. Until then, when you need me, I'll be there, I promise".

She just smiled wistfully at him, he released her hand, and she then walked out of the sitting room. A few seconds later, the front door closed loudly behind her, and she was gone.

Charlie hung his head, as he rose his hand to his forehead, and sighed deeply.

-x-


	7. It wasn't just friendship - Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Seeing her walk out of his house, almost felt like she was taking a part of him with her. Over the passed few days and since their kiss the previous week, he honestly felt like it was the start of something they had both wanted for so many years. The close bond they'd always had, was amplified when they were intimate together. It felt right, it felt so right. Like they could finally be themselves. But, it was wrong. The wrong time for them maybe? He didn't know. But, he wanted to run after her, to tell her exactly how he felt about her. Even with them both being married. He wanted to tell her no matter what had happened between them, she would always have a place in his heart, she always would, she always had done since they'd met all those years ago. He just wasn't strong enough to ignore the warnings from, a certain middle-aged nurse, Megan, who knew that a fling between them was neither good nor right to do at that time. She probably would be equally angry at him, well, them both, for their recent actions too. He can almost see her face and the words she'd use if she were to find out.

Charlie stood in his living room, all these thoughts going around in his head. He then began to pace in his living room.

 _Should I go after her? What would I say? Should I give her some space? Why is this so hard? I don't know what to do. I love Baz. But, I love Duffy too._

He put his hand to his neck, the stress getting to him.

-o-

She walked out of his gate, stopped as she closed it, and looked up at his closed front door. She sighed to herself, tears forming in her eyes, she then shook her head, shoved her hands into her coat pockets, and began to walk down the pathway away from his house, and away from him.

 _Stupid, stupid Lisa. We'll never be the same again after this. Oh God, what have I done._

She walked hurriedly down the path, not concentrating on anything but him, and the situation she'd just left him in.

 _I can't do it to my boys, to Andrew. But, the look on his face. I've hurt him, I've hurt him so much too. What have I done?_

She continued to walk down the pathway, only stopping to cross the occasional road. Not really knowing where she was wanting to go, or where she'd end up. She needed time on her own, some space, so she could think things through.

-x-

Charlie remained stood where he was, tears filled his eyes, as he sighed deeply, his hand rubbing at his neck.

 _Do I give her some time, some space to calm down? What should I do? I've bloody lost her. I think I've lost her for good._

He began to rub his fingers over his face, worrying, and wondering what he should do.

-o-

By the time he'd sat down, had made himself a coffee, and thought things through. He still came to the same conclusion, he needed to speak to her. She was right, they were both married, both would lose everything. And he didn't want that for her. She didn't deserve that. She was right, her boys were her world. And, if losing her to Andrew was how she wanted it to be, then he would just have to accept her decision. No matter how much it tore him apart. And things with Baz weren't that bad either. He loved her, and enjoyed their time together. But, ultimately he was Baz's husband, Baz didn't deserve to be heartbroken by him either. He just wished it was that easy though. Seeing Baz and Louis every other weekend was tough. It was hardly what he expected his marriage to be like. Then again, he also hadn't expected to be in the situation he was in, and having to chose between Baz and Duffy either. If he was to admit it to himself, he loved both women, but, if he had to make a choice. His heart or his head. He knew that for all of his shortcomings, his head told him to stay with Baz.

-o-

Duffy sat at a table, in a small little cafe, after she'd had a strong cup of coffee, and sighed heavily at herself. Her head in her hands.

"Penny for 'em love?" The small wire-haired woman, in a tabard, asked her as she poured out Duffy's coffee refill into her mug.

"Oh, um, thanks," she replied, as she watched the woman pour the hot liquid into her mug.

"You alright love?" The woman asked her.

Duffy just smiled wistfully at her.

"It can't be as bad as that," the woman replied, noticing the stress on her face upon hearing the question.

"I'll be alright," Duffy replied, as she smiled timidly at her.

"You sure? You look a bit upset, I'm a good listener you know." The woman asked her, knowing that it wasn't every day a young woman comes into her cafe with sore red eyes, and looking like she'd been crying heavily.

"Thanks, but, I'll be fine." Duffy replied, as she looked up at the woman, and smiled in recognition.

"Oh, ok, love, ok." The old woman answered, looking concerned for her, and walked away from her, leaving her on her own.

Duffy then sighed once again, as she began to open a sachet of sugar to put into her coffee mug.

-o-

He'd tried calling her at home, but didn't get an answer. He sighed as he hung up, the third time in the space of twenty minutes. He rubbed at his neck once again, unsure how he was going to speak to her if he couldn't find her. And the last he wanted to do was have to confront her at work. She could be anywhere, but, it then dawned on him, there was only one place she'd go when she needed space, the only place that was quiet enough for her to think. The park. He hurriedly grabbed his coat, keys and wallet, and headed out of the door. He needed to find her, he just hope he was right, and she'd be there.

-o-

She sat staring at the lake in front of her, watching the swans and ducks bobbing about on the water. She dug her hands further into her pockets, the chill in the air getting to her slightly, but she didn't move. She'd been there for over an hour, it was the only place where she could be completely on her own. No one could find her there, no one that mattered anyway. They'd sat here on a few occasions, just talking, listening to each others worries, and trying to make the other feel better. She knew that was all going to end now, she'd destroyed them, their friendship, and it hurt, it hurt so much. She sighed once again.

-o-

As he walked along the path, he could see her in the distance, her hair shone as the sun hit her strawberry-blonde hair. He sighed to himself, why was this so hard, he didn't know what he was going to say to her now. He'd made his mind up that she was right, that it was for the best they call it quits, too many people would get hurt. And, ultimately it was her happiness that meant more to him than anything else. So, he slowly began to walk towards her.

He stopped just at the end of the bench, sighed, then said, "I thought you'd be here."

She almost jumped out of her seat, when she heard his voice, she turned her head to look at him, and her heart began to race. She saw the look of worry on his face, but also saw the sadness and longing there too. He wanted to comfort her, but, he knew he couldn't.

"I've um, been worried about you." Charlie said shyly, stumbling on his words.

"Oh?" She replied, and she then turned her head away from him.

He sighed at her reaction.

"I'm fine." She replied, as she began to stare out at the birds once again, floating on the lake.

"Are you?" Charlie asked again.

"I don't know what to say Charlie." Duffy explained, as a chill caught her, and she shivered slightly.

"I know." He replied, as he moved slightly, and sat next to her on the bench.

"Charlie we're both married. We have the children to think about."

"I know, but it doesn't make it any harder though." He explained.

She just sighed, knowing full well he was right.

"I don't want this to ruin us Charlie." She truthfully said.

"Neither do I Duffy." Charlie said, as he put his arm around the back of her shoulders, and gently brought her closer to him and hugged her.

"And it won't, I promise." He said, as he kissed her on the top of her head.

Duffy just sighed once again, and just took in the scent of his cologne, feeling comforted by his closeness and his words.

"Come on, let's go and get something to warm you up." Charlie said, feeling her shiver.

She pulled away from him and frowned at him, "um".

"Cuppa tea?"

"Yeah, yeah, cuppa tea would be lovely."

He smiled at her softly, and helped her to her feet, holding her hands in his. They stood staring at each other, and it was Duffy who turned away first, putting her hands into her pockets and walking away. Charlie sighed heavily, this was going to be harder to cope with than he thought.

-o-

They sat at a small table, in relative silence, as they sipped their tea in the small little cafe on the edge of the park.

"There's nothing more to say Charlie." She said, as she looked down at her hands.

"I know." He tried to reach out for her hand, but she pulled her hand away before he could touch her.

"We can't do this, it has to end. You know it, I know it." Duffy said, as she took a sip of her tea.

Charlie sighed deeply, knowing she was right.

"It's not easy though, is it?" He asked her, trying to catch her eye.

Duffy then sighed at his words.

"No," she replied eventually.

They then sat in relative silence whilst they thought about their actions, and predicament.

"Can we move on from this?" Duffy finally said.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want this to change us, I couldn't bare it, you're my best friend Charlie."

"You're my best friend too Duffy. And it won't, nothing will change that, nothing."

Charlie this time managed to take her hand in his, and softly rubbed it with his thumb.

"Um, can you, um, just give me some time, some space. It's a lot to deal with Charlie." Duffy asked him, her eyes looked up into his eyes, as she released her hand from his.

"If that's what you want." Charlie said, looking a little shocked by her reaction.

"It is." Duffy answered, looking down at the mug of tea in her hands.

"Ok." Charlie said quietly, frowning at her.

Charlie sighed once again too. Seeing her torture herself over all this broke his heart further. All he wanted to do was take her in his arms and tell her how much he cared for her, and he'd do anything to make sure she was ok, even after everything they had been through lately he decided against it. It would only make things worse for her, and quite possibly for them too.

"I'll see you at work then?" He added, as he got up from the table.

"Yeah. See you at work." Duffy replied, but couldn't bring herself to look up at him.

He tried to reach out to squeeze her shoulder, but then decided against it. He sighed once again, looking down at her, and walked away from her and out of the cafe. He turned back to look at her, lifted the collars of his coat up around his ears, and walked down the street.

Duffy sat at the table, a stray tear ran down her cheek, as she looked up and he was already gone.

-x-


	8. It wasn't just friendship - Chapter 8

Chapter 8

He couldn't concentrate on anything else on his drive into work, what was he going to say to her when he saw her again? He shook his head, as he turned down the next street, maybe some music will help take his mind off her. Just as the tape began to play a man jumped out into the road, and he swerved to avoid hitting him. The Scottish man frantically explained he needed help, and Charlie went with him to attend to his injured wife.

-o-

When Charlie eventually got into work, after the events of the morning behind him, the Scottish man and his wife's traumatic attack left his mind in a daze. Was the man to blame his wife's injuries, or was it just a break in gone wrong? He had briefly spoken to Duffy about the details of his patients, not dwelling on all the ultimate details. She'd been kind and reassuring in her reply, thankfully, which made him help the Scottish man in his plight, so he had decided against calling the police. Later the Scottish man confided in him and told him the truth. His wife had been raped, and attacked by men who were after him. That thought made him uneasy, and worry about the Scottish man's current frame of mind. He helped as best he could. But, the incident was then taken out of his hands when he found out George had called the police, and not Tina, as he had first thought. He couldn't help the Scottish man now.

The circumstances of the day's events had affected him, more then he realised. Baz could have well been a victim, it made him worry more so about being so far away from her. He called her on his break, and thankfully she was fine, as was Louis. But, what was also in the back of his mind, was how it would also have affected Duffy, hearing about the rape of the wife of the Scottish man. Despite working in the same department, they had spent no more than a few moments together. He knew he should speak to her, see if she was ok. But, how would he do it without upsetting her further? He didn't know, but, as the shift came to an end, he couldn't let her leave without knowing he was worried about her too.

-o-

"Um, you ok?" He asked, as he entered the staff room, only the two of them in there.

"Um, I suppose." She replied, as she slammed the locker door shut, and slung her bag over her shoulder.

"You sure?"

"Fine." She answered, and tried to walk passed him.

"Duffy." Charlie sighed, as she did so.

"I just need some time Charlie."

Charlie sighed once again.

She opened the door to the staff room and walked out.

Charlie knew trying to discuss anything with her would be hard, but didn't think it would be this hard. He changed and a few minutes later, left the department and headed for home.

-o-

The fact that she told him she needed some time, and some space didn't help him cope with everything they had been through, or help control his feelings for her. In fact it only made things worse for him, he missed talking to her, missed seeing her smile. Added that to being so far away from Baz and Louis, didn't help his mood at all, and it showed at work too. He was alone even more so, and he hated it.

He'd spent most of the week either arguing with Eve, George or Tina, and even managed to upset Sam and Chloe in the process. She'd noticed that too, and had gotten to the point where she couldn't watch him torture himself anymore.

"You can't keep up this Mr Frosty act forever you know."

All he could do is frown at her, he didn't know she'd noticed, but even so, nothing really could make him feel any better, not at the moment.

-o-

A few days, then turned into a week, and still they avoided each other. He knew better than to confront her, it was something that he had come to understand about her. If she wanted space, it was best to give it her. After all, she only ever avoided him if she was furious, and she had every right to be.

Today's shift had been busy, too busy in fact. It was Eve's last shift before she left to go on her mission to Romania, and despite doing everything in his power to stop her, HR had overruled his decision. And so off Eve went. So, in her absence he had to ask staff to cover for her shift the following day. He had asked everyone, but, Duffy. Maybe he'd just work it himself, it was better than asking her, she'd only say no to him anyway.

The shift had ended for the night-shift at 7am, and despite doing everything he could, no one would stay behind to help. So he plodded on back to his office, made himself a strong cup of coffee and decided to catch up with the remains of his paperwork.

As the staff began to leave she couldn't help but notice out of the corner of her eye he was sat at his desk. She sighed to herself, she knew he had enquired with everyone to see if they would stay and help him with an extra shift. But, she also knew he didn't ask her. So she decided to take the matter into her own hands. She asked Amy to pass her the phone, as she quickly dialled her Mum to let her know she'd be staying behind to cover a shift. She then headed towards his office, walked in quietly, and closed the door behind her.

"You can't do it all on your own Charlie."

"Um."

"Why didn't you just ask?"

"I didn't think you'd want to."

"That's my decision to make isn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess it is." Charlie said, as he looked up at her.

The fact their conversation had seemed to mirror their own feelings on their recent affair registered with them both.

"I thought you said it wouldn't affect us Charlie, not here."

"It's hard for it not to Duffy." Charlie replied.

"Well, I won't let you do all this on your own."

"Why?"

"Do I have to tell you?"

"No, no, I guess you don't." Charlie then smiled softly at her.

"Good. Come on then. Us against the world remember?" Duffy said as she smiled at him, and squeezed his shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah, us against the world." Charlie replied, as he looked up at her, and squeezed her hand with his that still rested on his shoulder.

-o-

By the time their 18-hour shift had ended he tried looking for her but she was not in the department. The latest patient entered through the ambulance double doors he glanced outside and saw her sitting on the bench looking sad. He sighed, and put his hands into his pockets, and thought she could do with something to make her feel better.

She sat outside contemplating on what she was going to do when she got home. She had passed the point of sleep, and doubt she'd manage to do much this afternoon. She didn't fancy going back home to an empty house either. Not until the kids came home from school anyway.

Charlie stood making them both cups of tea in the staff room as Josh appeared with his latest gadget in his hands.

"Fancy a snap Charlie?" Josh said, as he pointed the camera into his face and snapped away.

"Josh, really? I'm just making a cuppa." Charlie said, as he stirred the cups in front of him.

"Spoil sport." Josh said, as he put the camera in his hands down from in front of Charlie's face.

"Where'd you get that?"

"Got it with my winnings, thought it was worth it. Wanted one like this for years."

"Just remember you need to keep your winnings too Josh, not spend it all the time."

"I know, I know. What's got your cage today then?"

"I'm not in the mood Josh, I've just finished an 18-hour shift."

"Oh, sorry mate. Um, you ok? You seem a bit."

"I'm fine, just want to go home that's all."

"Oh, right. So who's the other cuppa for then?"

"Duffy, she covered Eve's shift with me today."

"Oh, right, so you two speaking now then?"

"Erm, we've always been speaking."

"Come on Charlie, I've known you both for years."

"Nothing, honestly we're fine."

"Ok, ok, what ever you say."

"Yeah, well."

"See you later then?"

"Yeah, see you later Josh." Charlie replied, as he walked out of the staff room, expertly carrying two mugs.

When he reached Duffy outside, and he'd managed not to spill any of their tea, he stood close to her and coughed slightly.

"Thought you could do with one, and for helping me out today." He replied, as she shuffled along the bench and allowed him to take a seat.

She turned to him, looked up and took the mug from him, and said, "thanks, but it's my job Charlie."

"I know, but, thanks all the same. I'd not have managed without you today."

"Yeah, well, we still make a good team don't we?" She said, as she smiled at him and gently bumped him with her shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah we do." Charlie replied, smiling back at her.

They sat in relative silence after that, and just stared down at their mugs in their hands.

"Um, you hungry?" He asked her nervously.

"Um, why?" She frowned at him, unsure what he meant by that.

"Fancy a cooked breakfast, my treat, for helping me out today?"

"Um."

"That's if you're not busy or anything that is." He replied, trying to back track his invitation, to make her feel better slightly.

"Ah, there you are! Right, come on you two, put those mugs down. I want a snap of my two best mates. Come on." Josh said, as he stood a few metres away from them with his camera in his hands.

"Josh, really?" Charlie said, and scowled at him.

"Come on, you said you would." Josh replied, as he raised the camera to his eye to get the right shot.

"I didn't, I really didn't." Charlie said, as he shook his head at Duffy, then at Josh.

Duffy began to giggle at Charlie, and at Josh.

Charlie scowled again at Josh, and smiled nervously when Duffy looked up at him.

"Oh, what the hell." Duffy said, as she giggled at Charlie.

Charlie just smiled back at her.

"Yeah?" Charlie asked her.

Duffy put her mug down onto the floor, Charlie then followed suit.

They then smiled happily at Josh.

"Oh you can do better than that. Put your arm around her Charlie." Josh exclaimed, as he looked through the viewer at them both, waving his hand at them.

"Josh!" Charlie protested.

"It's just Josh, Charlie." Duffy whispered at him.

Charlie looked down at Duffy, smiled, then put his arm around her, Duffy giggled.

Josh then snapped away contently.

"That's it, perfect, don't move, and gotcha."

Charlie just shook his head at Josh, whilst Duffy simply giggled at him even more.

"I want a copy of that mind Josh, I hope you didn't get me with my eyes closed!"

"No, what do you take me for? I'll let you have a copy when I get them done. I'm off out to the valleys later, see if I can get a decent snap. Thanks you two. See you later."

"Yeah, thanks Josh. Have a good day." Duffy said, as she looked over at him.

"Enjoy it Josh. Thanks." Charlie replied.

Josh walked off towards the ambulance parked up.

Charlie still sat with his arm around Duffy, as their giggles subsided.

"Still fancy it then?" He asked her.

"What?"

"Breakfast?"

"Yeah, yeah, why not."

"Good." He replied, then sheepishly removed his arm from around her shoulder.

Duffy blushed at him, and rose from the bench, and walked over to the E.D..

"Come on then, I'm starving." Duffy said, as she turned back to look at him.

Charlie collected the mugs from the floor, and followed on after her.

-x-


	9. It wasn't just friendship - Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Luckily the small greasy spoon, just along Elizabeth's Street was a short drive away from the hospital. Somewhere usually quiet, but not at 12:20pm on a Tuesday afternoon. They took their seats at the small booth in the cafe, and glanced at the menus.

Charlie was first to put the menu down, his decision already made up.

"That was quick." Duffy said, as she looked up at him over the top of the menu.

"Don't need to look, been coming in here for years."

"You never told me that."

"We've never really discussed breakfast before now have we?" Charlie replied, and before the words had left his mouth, he saw her blushing back at him.

"Um."

"I didn't mean it like that, oh, shit, you know what I meant Duffy." Charlie rubbed the back of his neck, as he sat nervously looking at her.

"Yeah, ha ha, I did." She replied, looking serious, then began to giggle at him.

"Ha ha, very funny."

"You asked for that mind."

"Yeah, well, I suppose so."

"Right, in that case."

Charlie frowned at her.

Then the waitress came over to them, notebook in hand, and asked them what they wanted.

"I'll have what he's having."

"But you don't know what I'm having." Charlie bend over to her almost whispering at her.

"Makes it even more of a surprise then doesn't it?"

"I suppose it does then. I'll have my usual please Tracy, and two teas."

"Your usual coming up Charlie." Tracy replied, as she didn't even need to write it down, she took the menus from them both, and walked away back to the kitchen.

"Your usual?" Duffy asked him.

"Yeah, I told you, I come here all the time."

"So, you'll be having?"

"The same as you."

"Very funny."

"It is isn't it?" Charlie smiled back at her triumphantly, then winked at her.

Duffy just smirked at him and shook her head.

Not long after two pots of tea arrived at their table, and a stack of toast.

"So? The toast is for?"

"Us."

"Tuck in." Charlie said, as he smirked at her, winding her up further.

Duffy shook her head at him, smirking back.

"But."

"But nothing, they'll go cold."

Charlie began buttering his toast, and poured himself a mug of tea.

"You're enjoying this aren't you." Duffy said, as she took a slice of toast and began buttering it too.

Charlie just winked at her and smiled, then took a bite of his toast.

"You wanted breakfast." He said to her.

"It was your idea." She replied.

"Just thought it would be a nice thank you, for all your help today."

"Oh, I see? Ask me that again after I've eaten. I haven't got much energy at the moment."

"Oh?"

"Charlie?" Duffy frowned at him.

"That's not what I meant." Duffy added.

"No, no, um, of course not." Charlie tried to stifle a straight face and failed, as he let out a giggle at her.

"You're ridiculous do you know that?" Duffy said, as she frowned at him.

"Can't help it, ha ha." And he laughed again at her.

Duffy shook her head at him, and soon began to giggle herself.

They'd then began to tuck into their toast, drank their tea, waiting patiently for their unknown breakfasts to arrive. Every so often Duffy just shook her head at him, and he chuckled at her.

"Ah, finally, here we are." Charlie announced as their breakfasts arrived, clasping his hands together.

The waitress, somehow managed to manoeuvre her way through the now packed cafe with the large tray held out in front of her.

"Two extra large full-english specials." The waitress announced, as she placed each plate down for Duffy then Charlie.

"Extra large?" Duffy said, as she looked down at the, as the name implied, extra large portions of everything on the plate in front of her.

"Enjoy." The waitress giggled at Duffy, and winked at Charlie.

"You said you were hungry?"

"Yes, but, not I haven't eaten for days hungry. What on earth's this Charlie?" Duffy said, as she saw the enormous plateful of food in front of her.

"My usual. Now, if you've quite finished gorping at it, I'm hungry. If you feel the need to share any of yours, I'm partial to a sausage or two." Charlie said, as he winked at her.

"Charlie, get your own sausages. I'm quite partial to them too."

"Are you now?"

Duffy says, as she stabs one of them with her fork, and bites the end of it off.

"I am."

"So you are."

Charlie raises his eyebrows at her actions, then smirks at her, and she smirks back at him.

"Now who's talking with their mouth full of sausage?"

Duffy just shakes her head at him, and tries to hide her giggles.

She points her sausage fork at him.

"Don't you point your sausage at me." Charlie says.

Duffy just shakes her head and continues to chew.

Charlie then reaches over for the brown sauce, emptying almost half the bottle onto his breakfast.

"Charlie? Are you having breakfast with your sauce or what?"

"It adds to the flavour."

"What flavour? They'll be none left, it's swimming in that stuff."

"More sausages for me then, dibs on that one." Charlie replied, as he plops a layer of brown sauce on one of her sausages on her plate, then winked at her.

"Hey!" Duffy squeals at him.

"Oh come on, you'll never finish four sausages, with all that too."

"Watch me."

"Go on then." Charlie replies.

"Alright, I will."

Charlie just smirks at her, as she begins to tuck into her breakfast, carefully avoiding the sausage covered in brown sauce, she wasn't a fan of that stuff, yak.

The more he looked over at her efforts, the more impressed he became. Although he could tell she was wavering slightly.

"I must say, I'm impressed."

"Good, because I don't know how you can eat all this. I mean, oh, who am I kidding. I give up." Duffy said, as she admitted defeat.

"Well, you earned it. That was quite a show."

"How come?"

"I'll let you into a little secret?"

"Oh?"

"I only come here after a really tough night-shift, and have never finished a meal yet."

"Charlie Fairhead, I could kill you." Duffy said, as she threw the napkin in his direction.

"Good effort though. Only half the plate cleared. Well done."

Duffy just shook her head at him, and folded her arms.

Charlie just chuckled at her even more.

"I'm a bit full too." He eventually said, after he ate the last of his sausages.

"I can't believe you."

"Serves you right."

"Good job breakfast is on you."

"Ha ha, touchè. That's the Greasy Spoon Special you've just had. No one has managed to finish it yet. It's free if you eat it all."

"Charlie." Duffy scowled at him.

"What?" Charlie shrugged.

"What'll I do with you?" She shook her head at him.

Charlie just smirked at her.

They sat there for a few more minutes finishing their mugs of tea, when there was nothing left to say. Charlie had paid their bill, an extortionate amount of money, as Duffy remarked. But, as Charlie had mentioned, it was worth it just to see her try.

"So?" Duffy said, as she put down her mug.

"So?"

"Better now?" Charlie asked her.

"I suppose so."

"Good."

"You planned this all along didn't you?" Duffy asked him, as she leaned forward, her elbows on the table, her chin rested on her hands.

"Well, I had to cheer you up somehow."

"Oh, Charlie." Duffy replied, blushing at him now.

"I'll take that as a yes then?"

"Yes, yes you have." She smirked at him.

"Good. Want me to drop you off at home?" He asked her nonchalantly.

"Yeah, yeah, you can do, thanks." Duffy replied, as she reached for her bag.

"No trouble." Charlie said, as he smiled warmly at her.

When they exited the cafè the tension they had together previously was all but forgotten. He unlocked the door for her, and she got into the passenger seat, just as he got into the driver's seat opposite her. He quickly started the engine and began their journey to her house.

She then suddenly had to stifle a bit of a yawn.

"Sorry Charlie, I think the day is catching up with me."

"Yeah, same here." He said, as he too began to yawn.

"Thanks for breakfast, or lunch, actually I don't think I'll need feeding until tomorrow now."

"I'll bare that in mind." Charlie said, as he smirked at her again.

He then glanced at her once or twice, he wasn't sure. But, seeing her smile, giggle and laugh, had ultimately been the reason he'd asked her to breakfast. He didn't, and couldn't let the tension go on between them any longer. He'd missed her, and he didn't think he could hold off from telling her any longer.

She also glanced at him, more than a few times. She'd missed him, his sense of humour, his charm even, most of all she'd missed the closeness, she'd missed him. The problem was, it was dangerous territory they were entering once again. That thought unnerved her, but, it also made her ache for him. She didn't think she could stop herself if she were honest, being this close to him again. She could hear her heart race at the thought of his hands, that currently gripped the wheel, running their way over her body. She began to squirm in her seat. She didn't know if she could cope with this any longer. The pull, the need for him was clouding her judgement.

It was the sound of the indicator that brought her out of her thoughts, as he pulled up to the curb outside her house.

"Well." She said, as she couldn't quite look at him just yet.

"Well." He replied, as he to was finding it difficult to look at her.

"Um. Thanks for, um, breakfast Charlie." She said, as she played with the strap on her bag, still unable to look at him.

"Yeah, um, you're welcome." He replied, as he then turned to look at her.

He could see she was nervous, worried even, as he watched her play with the strap on her bag. He knew, watching her like this, that she was feeling just the same as he was. Scared, and hopeful all at the same time. It wasn't right, the position he was now putting her in. They'd resolved all their problems, and he couldn't now ruin it with what he had wanted to do most of all. Kiss her, to taste her lips on his. He knew that as soon as he kissed her that would be it, they'd not be able to stop themselves any more. They'd tried, but failed. He knew it would only cause them both pain, and hurt. There would be no going back to their friendship, which they had now managed to resolve. He would just become that bloke who broke up two happy families. He couldn't do that to her. And now it was up to him to decide.

"Um, I don't know about you, but, I'm exhausted." He said, as he ran his hand around the back of his neck.

"Yeah?" She asked him, as she finally turned to look at him.

"Yeah." He looked into her eyes, as she looked into his, they could sense the want and need in each other, but froze, unable to move.

"I, er." He stuttered.

"Um." She replied, unsure she had even made a sound.

He then let out a sigh, a small sigh.

She to took a small breath out.

They simply looked at each other and couldn't speak, lost in each other's torment for the other.

"I'll um, have to, um." He said finally, his heart racing as he spoke, his mouth dry from nerves.

"Yeah, um, me, too." She replied, and smiled sombrely at him.

She then quickly grabbed the handle of the door, opened it, and left the car, closing it with a thud, behind her.

Charlie blinked at the sound of the thud of the door, and he let out a deep breath, as he watched her walk through her gate. She hurriedly grabbed the keys from her bag to open the door of her house, closing it behind her, not looking back at him once. He sighed once more, as he then slammed his palms into the steering wheel, and swore under his breath.

"Fuck!"

He then put the car into gear and drove away, cursing to himself the entire time.

-x-


End file.
